Life goes on. Life just goes on. Every time you fall down, you just have to stand up again and move on. The more I let things hold me down, the worse it feels. But I also need to feel.
Sometimes I automatically shut my emotions away lest they get too overwhelming. The trouble is I don't know what I've been doing until something sharper hits me and opens it all up again.
Sometimes I need to allow myself to cry, to feel things, but I bottle it up automatically and try to keep going. It's good to let it all out properly, as we need to feel the bad emotions as well, even when we don't want to. Embrace them as much as the good, because they're not going to go away and need to be felt.
If I do it too much I can make myself feel worse. But that's also because I still sometimes feel guilty for feeling sad and concentrating on my own sadness rather than being sympathetic to someone else's. But I also feel guilty for not feeling sad enough.
The pain, that boiling burning oil in the pit of my stomach. I'd do anything not to have to feel that.
Written 14/06/2013.
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